Relationship Relapse- Are You At Risk?- Part 1

Moving Forward- How to Avoid a Relationship Relapse

Part 1

After a Relationship BootCamp or Exclusive Couples Retreat, we always encourage couples and singles to continue their growth through coaching, volunteering, small groups and accountability partners because there is such a high risk of relapsing into our old ways. We are creatures of habit and are constantly wanting to fall back into our comfort zones. It's in our nature to take the path of least resistance... the easy way out. If this weren't true, the personal training industry would be dead. We want to grow, change, evolve, but it takes work and when push comes to shove, reverting to our old ways often feels easier. However, the downfall is when we relapse into our old ways, we end up with our old results, leaving us with feelings of disappointment, shame, anger and bitterness. These are all a part of living below the line and lead us right back to where we started: UNHAPPY!

If you've attended the Relationship BootCamp or the Exclusive Couples Retreat, you know how much energy you invested into your growth and you want to take that to the next level. But in order to move forward to the next level, you must first master the gains you've made so that you don't relapse.

Relapse: to suffer deterioration after a period of improvement, to return to a less active or worse state


So how do you hold on to what you've gained and avoid a relationship relapse? Hold on to what you've gained! Imagine each improvement as a step. Your steps may include things like being more open and vulnerable, spending more alone time with your partner or being more affectionate. Maybe you're working on your anger or intimacy issues. Whatever it is, each one is a step. If you try to run all the way up the steps and you trip, you will fall all the way back down to the bottom. Whereas if you take your time and learn each step, if, and when you trip (because you will, we all will), you will most likely only fall back one or two steps. When you land on that step, you will have already mastered it and be better prepared to move forward again, rather than being devastated that you have fallen back so far.

It's important to recognize the patterns that lead to relapse in order to stop yourself from falling backwards. Here are the 3 C's to be aware of:

1. COMPLACENCY: When we get comfortable with the short-term gains we have made and stop working towards what we really want. 
2. CONFUSION: When we rationalize and tend to 'forget' how bad it really was down there. 
3. COMPROMISE: When we think we are strong enough and start putting ourselves back into situations where we are tempted to fall backwards. 

Take a moment to really recognize where you are at in your growth. Give yourself credit for how far you have come, but be aware of these 3 C's that will lead to a relationship relapse. 

BE, DO, HAVE

BE committed to DO what it takes to HAVE what you want!

If you would like to speak with one of our coaches or register for one of our 4 Day Intensive programs please contact us at 1.866.322.6862 or visit our website for more info www.RelationshipHelpCenters.com 








This blog was inspired by a message from Pastor Dave Koop at CoastalChurch.org, Sunday, May 6, 2012.